About the Book
Secrets & Principles of Effective Co-Parenting: Mom, Dad; What About Me?!
This book is for parents who are no longer together and have a minor child (or children). It emphasizes ways to focus on the child amidst any conflicts and/or controversies the parents may have. Among other things, it discusses how (i) the child may feel obligated to choose one parent over the other; (ii) certain behaviors of the parents can affect the child’s self-esteem and confidence; etc. This book illustrates effective ways to co-parent that result in the child ultimately having healthy, physical and emotional well-being.
About the Author
I have an education, background and experience in psychology and law. I am a co-inventor of the Disposable Stik-on-Bib, and I enjoy imparting knowledge to others and empowering them with sound guidance. My hobbies include watching movies, hanging out with my husband and fellowshipping with friends.
Qn 1: Can you tell us more about your book, Secrets & Principles of Effective Co-Parenting: Mom, Dad; What About Me?! What is it about?
My book is about the importance of focusing on the child with whom a relationship ends. When relationships sever, many times the child or children suffer because parents continue quarrelling about their issues to the point where it ultimately affects the child. It is based on my experience as a former divorced mother with three children whose ages were 2, 6 and 13.
Qn 2: Who do you think would be interested in this book, is it directed at any particular market?
I think that individuals who would be interested in this book are parents who may:
- be dealing with a variety of emotions from the relationship ending
- have a difficult time when the child is visiting the other parent
- get lost in their own feelings and have not considered the child’s well-being; though not intentional
- be dealing with a difficult ex.
Qn 3: Out of all the books in the world, and all the authors, which are your favourite and why?
Eric Jerome Dickey is one of my favorite authors. His work was intriguing and kept the reader wanting more.
Qn 4: What guidance would you offer to someone new, or trying to enhance their writing?
If you want to write a book, start with the table of contents to structure your thought and be very patient. It is a process and unless you have a lot of time to sit down, gather your thoughts and write, it can take several years. However, continue your journey and complete your manuscript.
Qn 5: Where can our readers find out more about you, do you have a website, or a way to be contacted?
Readers can find out more about me on my website: www.castleofknowledge.com.
Qn 6: What is the first piece of guidance you would give to parents who were no longer together but raising a child? Other than read Secrets & Principles of Effective Co-Parenting: Mom, Dad; What About Me?!
Two things: if the relationship has not ended yet, I would suggest that they (or one of them) inform the child that the parents are having some adult issues & if they cannot resolve them, they may separate. This way, the child will have upfront knowledge (as opposed to one parent just leaving the home) and can ask questions.
If the relationship has ended, I would remind the parent that the severance of the relationship can be a difficult change for the child so to be mindful of this and think about the child’s well-being and act accordingly.
Qn 7: From your experience what struggles have seen families encounter and how have they overcome them?
I’ve seen parents engaging in arguments & be very mean to each other in front of the child; saying negative things about the parent to the child, telling the child what the other spouse did or did not do during the relationship, etc. The way that they’ve overcome these behaviors was to first realize that the child hears & sees everything and that those behaviors can result in the child blaming himself/herself or feeling at fault for the relationship ending. In considering the child & focusing on them, the parents must stop quarrelling and putting the child in the middle. They should allow the child to express their feelings and ensure that he/she knows that both parents love them, that their parents are not perfect and that the breakup had nothing to do with them.
Qn 8: Obviously the well-being of a child is incredibly important, what is the first thing parents who have separated should consider for their child?
The first thing parents should consider is that this change will be different for the child and can affect their security because the family as they knew it is no different. Since this can be devastating to the child, parents should proceed with the child’s best interest in mind and should handle any conflicts & adversities outside of the child’s presence. They should not show negative feelings against the other parent and should focus on making the child feel secure in this new environment; the parents live separately.
Qn 9: There must be some positive stories you can share of parents who have separated and still work well together to support, educate and care for their child. Can you tell us about some experiences?
Sure. Some families are able to be amicable upon their relationship ending; especially when the parents made a mutual decision to do so. In these situations, the parents typically aren’t adversarial & they work out any conflicts or disagreements in a civil manner. The child generally thrives better in these situations.
Qn 10: What do you have planned next? Will you write more books?
I have a keen interest in helping people by imparting my personal knowledge and wisdom to empower them and impact their lives. A Castle of Knowledge is a company that presents webinars on various topics; mostly dealing with relationships involving marriage, thriving after divorce and making marriage work.